


Dungeons and Dragons and Wolves

by Araloth



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dungeons and Dragons, F/M, Fluff, Fun, Humor, M/M, Pack Bonding, Shorts, The Pack Deserves to Have Fun Sometimes Too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araloth/pseuds/Araloth
Summary: Stiles convinces some of the members of the pack to play Dungeons and Dragons with him... Hilarity will ensue.While I'm fairly familiar with Dungeons and Dragons and have played several times, I'm not going to be a big stickler for the rules when writing this. My focus is going to be more on the narrative/humor side of it all.





	1. Character Creation

            Stiles still couldn’t believe this was happening. One minute he was just bemoaning the fact that he never got to play it anymore, and the next the pack was actually talking about doing it. Somehow, through sheer luck or chance Stiles had actually convinced the pack to try playing Dungeons and Dragons.

            “Okay!” Stiles exclaimed practically giddy with anticipation. “So the first step is to design your characters. I’ll be the DM of course-“

            “DM?” Jackson asked skeptically.

            “The Dungeon Master.” Scott answered easily. “It means he’ll be the one running the game and coming up with the story and everything.”

            “Oh great…” Jackson rolled his eyes and jabbed Ethan in the chest with his finger. “You so owe me for agreeing to this.”

            “Ah come on Jackson…” Ethan laughed. “It’ll be fun.”

            “If you say so.” Jackson grumbled.

            “Can I use my old character?” Scott asked.

            Stiles frowned. “I guess if you still have the stats and the character sheet for him…but come on Scotty don’t you want to try something new?”

            “Of course I still have it.” Scott flipped open an app on his phone and pulled up the information. “Why would I want to get rid of Scottius the Pure?”

            “Scottius the Pure?” Malia grinned. “Really?”

            “Scott’s perfect paladin character, defender of the innocent and all around do gooder.” Stiles chuckled. “It wasn’t his most original idea.”

            “Well _I_ like it.” Scott said proudly. “And I want to use him again.”

            “Fine.” Stiles just shook his head. “Go ahead. But you’re going to be too high a level for just starting out with everyone else…”

            “Can’t you just start everyone else off at a higher level too?”

            “Pshh-“ Stiles waved him off. “That’s take half the fun out it…”

            “So how exactly do we make our characters then?” Lydia interjected.

            “Oh right…” Stiles grabbed some of the blank character sheets he’d printed off for everyone and passed them out. “Here. Everybody take one. So the idea is that you get to choose your character’s class and species and that will determine a lot about what they’re good at, and what kind of role they might have in the party. Then you can even add in your own personal back story if you want, and of course name your character…”

            “Stiles I don’t know what half of these classes mean.” Malia groaned. “Like honestly what’s the difference between a wizard and a warlock? They both us magic right?”

            “Oh that’s easy!” Stiles beamed. “See a wizard gets their magical knowledge from hard work and study where as a warlock-“

            “Uh-huh.” Malia cut him. “What about fighter? That has to mean I’d be good at fighting right?”

            “Well yeah but there are several-“

            “I’m going with that.” Malia said already writing it down on her sheet.

            Derek stared at his own sheet blankly. “We can use our real names right?”

            “If you want to be even more boring than Scott sure.” Stiles huffed. “But then you might as well just make your character a wolf shifter too. The fun’s supposed to come form being something different-“

            “I can do that?” Derek asked.

            “What?” Stiles focused back on him, his long-winded speech falling short.

            “There’s a way to make my character turn into a wolf?”

            Stiles sighed. “Make him a druid and you can use the wild shape skill to become a wolf once you’ve seen one…”

            Jackson laughed as Derek started filling in his character sheet too. “You know this game might actually be more fun than I thought if everyone keeps driving Stilinski crazy…”

            Ethan gave Jackson a playful shove, and then leaned over closer to him so they could compare sheets.

            “Hey Stiles?” Liam called from the far end of the table. “In the barbarian skills it says something about Rage…?”

            “Barbarians can enter these berserker rages to make them stronger in a fight.” Stiles said. “They can do a lot more damage then and are harder to hurt too. It’s actually kind of like-“ he stopped realizing what he’d been about to say. “Uh…”

            “My I.E.D?”

            Stiles scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Uh well yeah kind of…sorry I didn’t mean-“

            “No that’s cool.” Liam tapped his pencil against his chin twice thinking. “I think I’ll be a barbarian then…”

            “…and of course I’ll be the super sneaky rogue.” Theo grinned.

            “You’ve played before?” Stiles asked.

            Theo snorted. “No that one’s just pretty self explanatory…” Theo leaned over Liam’s shoulder grinning mischievously. “here let me help you out there a little…”

            “What?” Liam looked up to see what he’d marked. “Why would you make me a dwarf?”

            “Cause you’re a hairy little guy-“

            Liam smacked Theo, but it didn’t stop him from laughing. Nor Stiles noticed, did Liam bother to change what Theo had written in.

            “You’re a jerk.” Liam growled softly, turning back down to his sheet.

            “Aww come on…” Theo leaned down closer to Liam forcing the smaller wolf to meet his eyes. “You know you love me…”

            “For reasons that constantly confound me…” Liam mumbled.

            Theo’s grin just got wider.

            Stiles shook his head and went back to his own preparations. In another ten minutes he had completed copies of everyone’s character sheets for his own reference throughout the game. Scott’s paladin was on top, followed by the even less original Derek the Druid…Malia had picked a fighter just like she’d said, and opted to make her character an ogre named Ma’Ta, Stiles supposed for the extra strength being an ogre would add to her stats. Lydia had chosen to play as an elf cleric named Lymarta specializing in healing spells, which given the way things were going so far was probably a good idea. Stiles laughed quietly to himself. He had a feeling the pack’s characters would be needing a lot of healing even at first. Ethan had picked a human wizard he’d named Etheyadin, which Stiles could guess was probably just a play on ‘Ethan and Aiden’, but this time at least he decided not to put his foot in his mouth. Theo had called his rogue “The Dread” Stiles saw, opting for a rather dubious moniker instead of a real name. At first glance Stiles was happy to see Liam at least seemed to be having fun coming up with an original name for his dwarf in Rabnud, but then Stiles realized it was just Dunbar spelled backwards. He sighed tragically at his pack mates' lack of creativity. Jackson hadn’t been any better either-going with Jackos Oriande Milmore the Third, a pretentious name if ever there was one. He’d chosen to play as a half-elf bard though, which surprised Stiles a little, even if Jackson had been pretty heavy handed in giving his character a noble background.

            “I like hybrids.” Jackson shrugged, with seeming nonchalance, but there was an amused glint in his eyes. Stiles had a feeling he didn’t want to know what he was up to.

            For now though Stiles was just glad to finally be getting under way. He felt a rush of excitement as he pulled up his screen to hide the story notes and maps he’d drawn up from the rest of the pack. He slid a set of dice toward Scott.

            “Okay Scotty-since you’ve played before you get to go first…Roll a D20…”


	2. Meat and Meetings

            “One by one you come upon a small tavern…”

            Jackson frowned. “A tavern? Really?”

            “Yes!” Stiles glared at him. “It’s a good first place for all your characters to meet up and kick things off.”

            “But we already know everyone’s characters.” Malia said. “You just had us tell you what we were playing.”

            “ _You_ all do, but your characters don’t.” Stiles said. “In the game you have to take actions based only on what your characters know. Otherwise you're meta gaming and taking some of the fun out of it for everyone.”

            “Right…” Jackson eyed him skeptically.

            “Anyway-“ Stiles grinned. “Where was I…”

            _The Broken Wheel had seen better days as its name might imply. Built at a crossroads, supposedly where a lonely traveler had once had to stop to tend to that very problem, the tavern was one large hall of tables and chairs, a small bar in one corner, and with a few sparse rooms available for rent should wayseekers need them for the night._

_Scottius saw his horse put away in the small stables out back and wandered inside. The fading light of dusk crept in through the windows spilling orange across the worn wood, and here and there a candle had been lit already. Scottius claimed a seat at one of the larger tables and signaled the barkeeper._

            “Oh wait-“ Scott paused in the middle of his action. “Do I have any money?”

            “I’m starting you all off with fifty gold just to be nice.” Stiles grinned. “Make sure you all add that to your inventory sheets or it doesn’t count…”

            “Right.” Scott nodded. “Okay then…”

            _Scottius ordered a plate of food from the kitchen and looked around the rest of the tavern. There were only a half dozen or so other patrons scattered around the room…_

“Wait so what do I do though?’ Liam asked as Stiles passed him a set of dice.

            “It’s your turn.” Stiles shrugged. “You can do anything you want really. If it’s something you have to roll for I’ll let you know other wise just tell everyone what your character is doing.”

            “Umm okay…” Liam fiddled with one of the dice nervously. “Well I guess…”

            _A dwarf with a hefty battle-ax strapped to his back wandered over to Scottius’ table. He slid down into the seat opposite the paladin._

_“Hello there.” He grinned. “Name’s Rabnud. You from around these parts?”_

_Scottius shook his head. “Just passing through. I was called upon to help break up a skirmish in a town up north.” The paladin frowned. “What about you? You seem awfully young to be so far from the mountains.”_

“Am I really that young for a dwarf?” Liam asked.

            “Let’s see…” Stiles glanced down at Liam’s character sheet. He’d just used his real age for his character’s age. Stiles chuckled. “Well yeah you’re pretty young. Dwarfs live on average around three hundred and fifty years or so, so to them anything below fifty is still pretty young.”

            “Oh.” Liam chewed on the inside of his cheek a little thinking. “Should I change it then?”

            “What? No.” Stiles smiled broadly. “This is part of the fun. Just make it a piece of your backstory. Think about it-why would a young dwarf like yourself be venturing out in the world?”

            Liam frowned, considering.

            _Rabnud pumped out his chest proudly. “I’m wandering the lands performing services to make a name for myself. Once I’ve had songs sung of my feats, I will return home to a place of honor among my people and take a worthy bride.”_

“Was that okay?” Liam blushed a little. “I feel kind of silly talking like that.”

            Scott gave him a thumbs up from across the table. “You’re doing great.”

            _“That food any good?” Rabnud nodded to the plate in front of Scottius._

_“To me at least.” Scottius laughed heartily. “But after getting nothing more than porridge the last few days most things would be.”_

“I guess I’ll have Rabnud order something then too…” Liam held the dice back up. So far nobody had needed to use them. “Who’s turn is it now?”

            _The tavern door banged open again as the barkeep dropped off Rabnud’s plate, and a lone black wolf stalked into the room. It easily came up to chest height on the man closet to the door, who reached for some kind of weapon in a panic._

_“Wait!” Scottius called. He’d picked out the wolf’s pure blue eyes and known him for what he really was._

_The wolf eyed Scottius for a moment after he spoke and then stalked over to another chair at his table. As he moved the fur of his body began to fade, giving way to leathers and human skin, all save for that on the man’s head and face. He nodded once to Scottius, his eyes the same bright blue the wolf’s had been._

Stiles sighed. “That’s really all you’re going to do Derek?”

            Derek shrugged and pushed the dice back towards Stiles.

            Stiles rolled his eyes. “Fine…”

            _The commotion with the wolf had caught the attention of two other travelers tucked back in the tavern’s far corner. When the druid claimed a seat at the table the shorter of the two men stepped out of the shadows, his companion quickly following him._

_“You certainly have a flair for dramatic entrances.” Jackos Oriande Milmore the III claimed the chair across from the dark haired man. He offered his hand to him, being sure to position it so his signet ring caught the light, the gilded lizard of House Milmore clear to see. “I don’t believe we’ve met…”_

_The druid took a long sip from a horn of ale. “No…”_

_“My lord-“ The wizard behind stepped forward slightly, ready to call the barkeep back over at a moment’s notice. “Do you desire refreshment as well?”_

“Is there any actual point to us eating or is that just the only thing to do in this tavern?” Jackson asked.

            Stiles peeked up over his screen. “Well if any of you had lost some of your health eating and resting could help you recover. But at this point no, not really.”

            _“I’m fine Etheyadin thank you.” Jackos glanced around the room aimlessly._

_Etheyadin sat down next to Jackos, a pendant with the same sigil of House Milmore slipping free from the fold of his robes._

_Rabnud caught sight of it and frowned. Both the ring and the pendant were wrought with gold. “You some kind of lord then?”_

_“My lord Jackos is the first born son of the noble Davidius, ruler of House Milmore and appointed hand of the crown for these lands.” Etheyadin declared proudly._

_Jackos smiled. “And Etheyadin is my ever loyal companion. His magics aid me…in a great many things.”_

_“Your father truly rules these lands?” Scottius asked._

“How is Jackson allowed to do that?” Malia interjected. “Just make himself a prince?”

            “Noble technically.” Stiles corrected. “And he picked that for his background.”

            _“He does.” Jackos smiled._

_“Though to tell it true we are still a day’s ride from my lord’s lands.” Etheyadin added. “The uh-“_

“There’s a forest that runs along there.” Stiles pointed towards one of the maps he’d drawn up.

_“The forest marks the outer edge of Lord Davidius’ kingdom.”_

_“And Lord Davidus’ is just the man I’m coming to see.” As one the group of travelers at the table turned to see an elf maiden all in white approaching from the tavern’s back door. A brutish ogre lingered a half step behind her. The elf’s red hair was something of a rarity for her kind, but eyes were the bright green of a fresh spring leaf. Jackos grinned when he saw her, rising up to meet her._

_“Lymarta.”_

_“Cousin.” She smiled back and pressed a quick kiss to Jackos’ cheek. “It’s been too long.” Seeing the two of them side by side one could pick out a bit of the elfish beauty in the young noble as well, usually almost ineffable. It lacked the full strength and grace of his pure elf cousin, but he could still only be seen as beautiful, perhaps more so for the small human imperfections. “In the years since your mother-my dear aunt’s passing I have not been able to bring myself to make the journey.”_

_“But you come now.” Etheyadin bowed to Lymarta smoothly. “What troubles drive you here my lady?”_

_It was the ogre behind her who answered. “An evil force has awakened in the east. Scores of bandits on the roads, dark things in the night…something is a miss.”_

Malia frowned as she finished reading the card Stiles had handed her. “Stiles I don’t know what any of that means.”

            “Don’t worry you’re not supposed to just yet.” Stiles winked. “It’s just to help move the plot along a bit.”

            _Lymarta nodded to her companion. “I met Ma’Ta on the road and she was kind enough to offer me her strength in defending my passage.”_

_The barkeep happened by just then, handing Scottius his bill for the plate of food. He shook his head. “We know all too well of the things you speak of. Two horses have disappeared from stables near here in the last week, and just yesterday the carriage carrying our taxes to the king went missing. We suspect bandits…but without that gold the king will send his men again. Not many around here could afford to pay such a fare twice…”_

_“Did you say gold?” The voice came from the rafters, and to their shock, when the group below looked up a figure cloaked all in black was balanced there perfectly, lounging on one of the beams as easily as he might a bed._

“Can I flip out of the rafters and land dead center on the table?” Theo asked.

            “You are a rogue, but given the height and your lower level…” Stiles smirked. “I’m gonna make you roll for it.”

            Theo picked up the dice and tossed it across the table. It came up 2. Theo groaned. “That’s bad right?”

            “Bad enough.” Stiles laughed.

            _The man in the rafters moved to stand, and promptly tumbled off the beam he’d been balancing on, landing squarely in Rabnud’s lap. The poor dwarf started, taken suddenly aback._

Liam laughed.

“Oh!” Theo scribbled furiously onto a small scrap of paper, a devious glint in his eyes. He thrust the note down towards Stiles. Stiles unfurled it carefully behind his screen.

            “Roll for it.” Stiles said.

            This time Theo was luckier-18.

            “What was that one for? Liam asked.

            _The man was wearing a mask but it left the lower half of his face exposed. He smiled, and patted Rabnud firmly. “Not a bad view…”_

_Rabnud flushed, but before he could respond the lithe man was rolling off his lap and making his way to the bar. Rabnud spared him one last curious look before turning back to the table. The barkeep came a moment later with Scottius’ change and handed Rabnud his own bill. Rabnud reached for his coin purse only to discover it suddenly gone._

“What?” Liam asked shocked.

            Stiles shrugged. “Things happen.”

            “You!” Liam turned to Theo, who looked the picture of innocence, which really more proved his guilt in this case.

            _Rabnud sprang up from his seat but the cloaked man was already gone. Rabnud ran up to the man working the bar desperately. “Where did that masked man go?”_

_“The one who was just here?” The worker frowned. “Afraid he didn’t say. Seemed like a nice bloke though. Paid for some food in dwarf gold which was a bit odd, but he left me quite the tip.”_

“Because it was _my_ money!” Liam exclaimed. He sighed.

            _Rabnud trudged back to the barkeep and sadly explained the situation._

_“Well-“ The barkeep ran his hand over his shaggy beard thoughtfully. “You seem like a sturdy sort…and with all you friends here…I’d be willing to over look the cost of your meal if you’d try and root out those bandits for us. We couldn’t afford to pay you…but the bandits are bound to have other treasure they’ve stolen. Anything besides the gold we need for the King’s tax you’d be welcome to.”_

_Scottius stood suddenly, his hand over his heart. “We’d be happy to help.”_

            _Jackos shrugged. “Sure why not?”_

_One by one the others nodded, even the mostly silent druid._

_The rest of them settled up with the barkeep quickly enough. Scottius took charge of their little band, much to Jackos’ chagrin, and insisted they press on as soon as they could. The cover of night might help them sneak up on the bandits’ camp._

Jackson shrugged. “I’m fine with Scott leading but my character’s a noble. There’s no way he wouldn’t give at least a _little_ attitude.

            Stiles looked thrilled. “See? Now that’s how you get into character. Given being a bit of an asshole isn’t really a huge stretch for Jackson…”

            Jackson smacked him.

            _Just as they were leaving the tavern a freak wind popped up knocking a branch loose from a nearby tree and slamming it into Jackos’ face._

“I seriously have to lose five health?

            “Relax.” Ethan laughed. “You’ll get it back.”

            _Their odd company had only gone a few dozens paces, when a shadowy figure appeared from around the corner of the nearby tree. Rabnud recognized the man from the bar and charged forward._

_“Give me back my gold!”_

_“Sorry little dwarf.” The man’s voice had a sing-song quality to it, and he was grinning again. “It’s already spent.”_

“You’re an ass.”

            Theo snorted. “Stiles told us to get into character…”

            _“I hear you’re off to look for those bandits huh?”_

_“You know of them?” Scottius asked._

_The man shrugged. “I might. Might even know exactly where their camp is…”_

_Scottius frowned. “Will you help us then, for the sake of this community?”_

_“Well I like to think of myself as a pretty charitable guy…but there would be the small matter of my fee…” The man grinned. “Skills like mine don’t come cheap.”_

_“We saw you accidently fall off a rafter not even an hour ago.” Rabnud huffed._

_“Did you?” The man laughed. “Or was it all according to plan?”_

Liam frowned. “We all saw you roll a 2.”

            Theo smirked. “Yeah but your character didn’t.”

            _“-but tell you what…in the interest of friendship and to make up for the unfortunate misunderstanding I seem to have had with your handsome dwarf here…I’ll wave my usual fee provided I still get my share of any reward.”_

_“You steal from me, then you want to join our group? And get an equal share of whatever reward we might find?” Rabnud ground his teeth angrily, his hands twitching towards his ax._

_“Actually my cut would be twenty percent.” The man winked. “I am the only one who knows the way after all…”_

_“Scottius you can’t actually be thinking about-“_

            _“We don’t have a choice Rabnud.” Scottius sighed. “It could take us weeks searching this county side to find the bandits’ hideout without him and by then the King could have sent men to collect more taxes…_

_“Fine…” Rabnud adjusted one of the straps on his ax, glowering at the masked man. “But if he’s going to be traveling with us we at least need to know who he is…”_

_“Me?” The man smirked, his eyes catching the light just right as he stepped forward, and making Rabnud think briefly of the great jewels his people mined back in their mountains. He frowned, shaking his head to clear the stray thought away._

_“You can call me The Dread…”_


	3. A Horse Of Course

            Somehow Stiles felt he should have seen this coming. He’d wondered from the beginning why Jackson had chosen to play as a bard but by now it was perfectly clear. “Again? Really?”

            Jackson just grinned. “I’m rolling to seduce the bandit.”

            “Fine.” Stiles sighed already having a good idea how this would go. With his class skills and the bonuses Jackson got for being a half elf even moderate rolling was letting Jackson succeed.

            _Etheyadin ducked a slash from the lone bandit’s knife, jumping back to make room for Jackos. Jackos stepped into the light and winked at the bandit, plucking a few notes on his harp._

_“Hello.” Jackos made his voice pure honey. “My name is Jackos Oriande Milmore the third…and who might you be?”_

Jackson’s dice came up a nineteen and Stiles just shook his head. He ripped out the page with the bandit’s stats on it from his notes and threw it in the trashcan next to him. Again.

_“Oh…” The bandit blushed her sword twitching for a moment before finally lowering down all together. She dropped it to the ground and kneeled beside it. “Forgive me my lord. I could never strike one so beautiful as yourself. If you but spare my life I will pledge myself to your service from this day until the end of my days.”_

“I hate you.” Stiles huffed.

            Jackson laughed. “I know.”

            “Seriously though-“ Malia growled from across the table. “Could you let us fight them just once?”

            “Pretty soon he’s going to need a separate tent for all his camp followers.” Lydia said pointedly. “Not to mention extra chests to carry all the items they keep giving him.”

            “It’s okay.” Jackson winked. “Etheyadin and Jackos can share. That’ll leave extra space for all my new subjects.”

            “Assuming I let you keep them.” Stiles added.

            Jackson shrugged, clearly pleased with himself. “Either way I’m fine.”

            Stiles shook his head and turned back to his notes. The party had been advancing slowly through the woods, under the Dread’s guide making their way to the main camp of the bandits. Thanks to Jackson and his stupidly successful seduction rolls, most of the outlying men and women had already gone over to his side. That left Stiles just the force left in the camp to play with…

            _“How much further is it?” Rabnud grumbled. He nodded accusingly to the Dread. “You told us it wouldn’t take this long…”_

_“I said it shouldn’t take this long.” The Dread’s eyes were sparkling with amusement again, and it only made Rabnud want to smack the look off his face._

_Now that he had a name to go with the masked man, Rabnud had spent the majority of the last day scouring his brain for every scrap of information he might have heard about the insufferable rogue. The Dread was a bit famous from what Rabnud remembered, he’d pulled jobs all over the country before disappearing back into the vast Hills of Beacon for which the country was named. No one had ever seen the Dread without the half mask he wore-leaving his features a mystery beyond his bright blue eyes and the perpetual grin he seemed to wear._

_Rabnud grimaced. “Well maybe you shouldn’t-“_

_“Wait-“ Scottius threw up his hand for quiet. “Listen…”_

_Now that they weren’t talking Rabnud could hear it too. Something-or more likely from the sound of it several somethings-was coming towards them through the woods. And there amongst the sounds….hooves?_

_Rabnud glared at the Dread. “You didn’t say they had horses!” he hissed quietly. It was likely the bandits already knew their location but if there was any chance…_

_The Dread just shrugged. “They didn’t last I knew.”_

_Rabnud rolled his eyes and circled up into battle lines with the others. Rabnud, Scottius and Ma’Ta stood up front, ready to soak up the initial wave of bandits, with Etheyadin, Jackos, and Lymarta spread out behind them._

_At least twenty bandits surged out of the forest and into the small clearing, their leader mounted up on an impressive stallion-_

“We have to fight all of these guys at once?” Lydia asked skeptically.

            Stiles grinned. “You’ll be fine. Just think critically about how you want to do it-

            _Ma’Ta charged forward and grabbed the nearest bandit by his head, hurling the man bodily into the air, before smashing him back against the ground with her club with bone crushing force._

Malia grinned. “Did I get him? I got him right?”

            “Uh yeah-by a lot actually.” Stiles laughed. “That was some pretty serious overkill…”

            “I like this game.”

            _Ma’Ta dropped the bandit, jumped over her first victim, and went looking for another. Beside her Scottius and Rabnud were each fighting their own bandits. Etheyadin was throwing magic at another bandit, Jackos grinned._

_“Cover me.”_

_Etheyadin smiled. “Of course.”_

_Jackos stepped out from behind Scottius and the others, placing himself within the line of sight of the horde of bandits. He lifted up his harp-_

“I want to roll to seduce all of them.”

            “You can’t seduce them all-“ Stiles huffed. “Seriously-“

            Jackson let his dice bounce down onto the table. He grinned smugly. “20.”

            Stiles glared at the dice furiously. He’d already explained the power of rolling natural twenties to the group. As the highest number you could roll on the standard D20 dice, it gave actions higher powers of success. Still there were so many bandits… “Roll again.”

            Jackson shrugged amiably and rolled the dice again. Stiles smiled to himself behind his screens. There was no way-

            “Are you freaking serious?” He fumed.

            The dice was a 20. Again. Jackson smirked knowingly.

            “So I seduce them all right?”

            Stiles ground his teeth together in frustration. Of course Jackson “everyone’s my type” Whittemore would just keep seducing every enemy he came across. To make things even worse Ethan seemed to find it hilarious, which only encouraged Jackson more…

            “Stilinski-do I seduce them all?”

            Jackson’s smug grin gave Stiles a moment’s pause, a sudden idea occurring to him. With a little luck it might be just the lesson Jackson needed to get him to stop seducing literally everything Stiles threw at him…

            Stiles smiled, trying to hide his pure glee for at least another minute or two. “Okay Jackson you seduce everything just like you wanted…”

            _The battle dissolved pretty quickly after that. The bandits all threw down their arms rather than attack Jackos and his allies giving them all some nice equipment and a few extra things they could sell. They were just finishing tidying up when the stallion the bandit leader had been riding, galloped over to Jackos knocking him down to ground as it licked his face and putting him right in front of-_

“What the hell Stilinski?” Jackson grimaced.

            “What?” Stiles made to feign innocence, but knew he was grinning shamelessly. “You said you wanted to seduce _everything_. The horse was there too…”

            “So now I have a horse that’s sexually attracted to me?”

            Stiles shrugged. “You do claim to be anyone’s type. Who am I to argue with your character’s raw animal magnetism?”

            That got more than a few chuckles around the table.

            “You could always sell the horse at a town later.” Scott offered.

            “I don’t know…” Jackson’s eyes narrowed determinedly. “I might have to keep him. A loyal horse could be useful right?”

            Theo snorted. “You’re seriously going to keep a horse that wants to fu-“

            “Hey!” Jackson laughed. “Maybe we just have a very special connection.”

            Liam grimaced. “Dude…”

            Ethan just shook his head grinning. “If you’re going to keep him you should at least name him.”

            “Hmmm…” Jackson’s eyes glinted mischievously. “I think I know the perfect name…”

            And just like that Jackos was the proud owner of a horse named Ethan.

            “Seriously?” Ethan sighed.

            “What?” Jackson grinned. “The size is about right-“

            Scott nearly choked on the chip he was eating. “Too much information!”

            Scott’s reaction was mirrored on almost everyone’s faces, though Lydia notably seemed unaffected. Jackson cocked an eyebrow at her curiously, grinning. “Really? Well my twin fantasies just got a whole lot more exciting.”

            Ethan elbowed Jackson but was still smiling.

            “Ugg.” Malia groaned. “Can we please get back to the game? I want to kill more stuff not listen in about Jackson’s sex life.”

            Scott nodded eagerly. “ I second that.”

            Jackson meanwhile was completely unabashed. Stiles had to fight the urge to face palm over how badly Jackson’s “lesson” had played out. Stiles sighed and tore another page out of his notebook. If things kept going like this it was going to be a _very_ long game. With the bandits gone it was time for something new… “Fine…” Stiles said, flipping ahead a bit in his notes. “As you continue to clean up the bandits you hear a shout from the road nearby…


End file.
